Surprise!

Mr. Robert W. Stull Plays Favorites with Women on His UTEP Payroll!

"Mr. Robert W. Stull, Director of Intercollegiate Athletics"

2004-2005 UTEP Budget

Intercollegiate Athletics Sports Medicine
Salary Roster

Employee: Ms. Dawn E. Hearn
Education: M.S. Degree
Job: Trainer
Account number: 29-2662-6009
Employed: 100%
Dates: 9-01 to 8-31
New Salary: $50,480
Previous Salary: $48,076
Amount of Increase: $2,4004
Percentage of Increase: +5.0%

Intercollegiate Athletics Student-Athlete Service
Salary Roster

Employee: Ms. Lisa D. Campos Emmerts
Education: M.S. Degree
Job: Super Tutor & Gofer -- runs errands to Albertsons
Account number: 29-2662-7009
Employed: 100%
Dates: 9-01 to 8-31
New Salary: $49,500
Previous Salary: $45,000
Amount of Increase: $4,500
Percentage of Increase: +10.0%

"But! One fatal day early in Spring of 2005 Mr. Stull got an email from out of the blue. From some clown he'd never even heard of. Yet, for all that, the light bulb flickered in some far recess of Mr. Stull's brain. Albeit dimly. Because, although, he, too, has a masters degree, it's most likely a M.A. rather than a M.S. And, best of all, the 2005-2006 UTEP Budget would soon reflect all this.

"Because the 2005-2006 UTEP Budget makes clear that Mr. Stull decided it was time to go through the motions of doing something for Ms. Hearn, although he both feared and trembled. Supposing Lisa finds out? He must have thought. By now Lisa would have had enough on him to sink a battleship. And Lisa has her own little ways of constantly striving for psychological domination, coercion and outright control.

"Like the morning of Monday, August 21, 2003. Once she saw ours truely wasn't in a mood to play the all-American shake-down game UTEP'S way, Lisa put her face down close to mine and hissed in her little bi-polar mode: I wouldn't want you to be coming on to me that way, asking some girl to marry you and have a bunch of kids just because she's given you a ride home, and so forth.

"With her focused and glassy stare, and with one eye bobbing up while the other bobbed down, she gave me the distinct impression that she was sending me a message.

"But, what, exactly? I wan't sure, but I suspect now it was this:

"In so far as this whole business of who was in control of the UTEP Dean of Student's Office was concerned, Lisa's message was simple. In the absence of Dr. Schaver, presumably a male of this peculiar sub-species of human being, it was important to Lisa that I recognized that right here and now she was the so-called UTEP officially designated ho-in-control. Period. People with her kind of borderline mental health issues are not known for being devious.

"And as for Mr. Stull? Damn! Don't you just know he was in a fix over this email and the Dawn E. Hearn salary business?

"Supposing Lisa went all bi-polar with him? Stamped her little foot? Flashed her little eyes? Bobbed one up and one down? And then went off in his face?

"But Mr. Stull was brave. Well, sort of. Just how much could he give Ms. Hearn and not set off Ms. Campos Emmert like a fire cracker? That or have the feds all over his a*s, as the clown's email seemed to imply, but without really saying too much of anything? Damn. Maybe it was time he began to earn his salary..."

Excerpt from: Day of the Ly'in Hos, the University of Texas at El Paso Story
Copyright: 2005
First Refusal Rights: Simon and Schuster, New York, New York.