And Now:

¡Ora, UTEP! ¡Ora, MEChA! ¡Ora, DESTINO! ¡Adelante aún con nosotros los gueros!

Another Exciting Night of Thrilling, Real Life UTEP Accounting Mysteries!

From:

UTEP's Twin Books of ENRON of Texas-Style Accounting Fantasies.

"Oh, my! And what would those be called? "

The 2006-2007 UTEP Budget, what else?

"Oh, my goodness!"

Tonight's Episode Stars:

UTEP's Legendary Mr. Daniel Avitia, Jr. B.A., as himself, in:

"Having two(2) UTEP salaries sure beats the heck out of having no more than one."

The University of Texas at El Paso
PURCHASING
DANIEL AVITIA JR DIRECTOR

Account Number 14-0225-0009: 50% = Time Worked = $37,750
Account Number 14-6086-0009: 50% = Time Worked = $37,750

Thus:

A total Combined salary for someone with an ordinary BA Degree + Access to the Secret Handshake = $75,500 yearly + more use of Secret Handshake = Humble Home CAD-Valued at $259,734.

DEGREE-LESS LADIES, LIKEWISE WITH AT LEAST VARIABLE ACCESS TO THE SECRET HANDSHAKE

Assistant Director Purchasing & General Services
Ms. Edith K. Harvey

Account Number 14-0225-0009: Between $56,200 and $59,400 yearly.
Home CAD-valued at: $4,318 [This is one lady who must have really blown the Secret Handshake!]

Buyer in Purchasing & General Services
Ms. Sandra Duarte

Account Number 14-0225-0010: $47,750 yearly.
Home CAD-valued at: $67,581

Buyer in Purchasing & General Services
Ms. Patricia I. Myers

Account Number 14-0225-0010: $40,000 yearly. [ O% raise = This lady totally blew Secret Handshake!]