UTEP ACCOUNTING ENTRIES OF FANTASY!

Moveover ENRON....

Another fascinating real life UTEP Mystery Novela!

Today's episode:

"So, what happens when you have the bad luck to blow the UTEP Secret Handshake?"

Answer:

You stand to lose a whole bunch of lana. Don't believe it? Ask our first expert UTEP witness:

Professor Charles H. Ambler

1) Professor Charles H. Ambler was officially classified as the:

DEAN, UTEP GRADUATE SCHOOL INSTITUTIONAL ENHANCEMENT
2005-2006 Budget.

As such, he had access to to a budget with total budgeted expenses of $547,873. Dr. Ambler's own neat little salary was computed thusly:

Account Number 14-6594-4009:

Dean Charles H. Ambler $123,000 yearly. This was a 3.0% increase over the 2004-2005 Budget.

But! Dr. Ambler's handlers were considerate enough of him to put in a sort of a safety net, albeit only on paper. And that safety net, paper entry though it was, added up to the following:

Account Number 14-2530-0001 (History):

History Professor Charles H. Ambler $80,857 yearly. This was pura cuenta, a book keeping entry reflecting a hypothetical net increase of 8.0% over the 2004-2005 Budget. Officially it was invisible. UTEP Professor Arturo Pacheco just might have been able to do something about all this, but Professor Ambler was no Professor Pacheco!

NOW COMES: THE UTEP 2006-2007 BUDGET..

Oh, no! Professor Charles H. Ambler has lost the UTEP Secret Handshake! No more cool $123,000 yearly salary, he's been demoted back down to the UTEP History Department. Big time!

But, as a consolation prize his wife was re-classified from her 2005-2006 all-American UTEP do-nothing position as number 9 on the payroll of University College with Dean Margaret Smith, where she had been making $32,800 a year under Account Number 14-6593-2709 to this:

Dr. GLORIA M. AMBLER, DO-NOTHING ASSISTANT DIRECTOR, UTEP UNIVERSITY STUDIES AND ETCETERA

[Her new] Account Number 14-6593-2909

Dr. Gloria M. Ambler $38,800 yearly. This is a $6,000 net yearly increase over the 2005-2006 Budget, Account Number 14-6593-2709. Just to make it look good, her own handlers dutifully punched in the supposed fact that her new $38,800 per year salary included a sorry 0.0% rate of increase over the year before, which is UTEP's usual ENRON-style bravo sierra, inasmuch as she had been working for a different department all together as we've seen above.

Meanwhile, for Dr. Charles H. Ambler:

Account Number 14-2530-0001 (History)

Dr. Charles H. Ambler $83,283 yearly. Net loss in yearly salary = a minus $39,727.

Thanks to their frugal budgeting the Amblers have a nice little home over Kern Place way, CAD-valued at $198,000.