MEN'S ACTS RETREAT!

The first 48 hours of the Men's ACTS Retreat: "Combat mode one: locked and loaded!"

"Tough, competetive, push you to the limit and beyond kind of real-life Christian FTX, right?

"You bet! The first 48 hours is outta sight! It's so real, it's so much dy-no-mite!

"But, then....?

"O.K.! Now, you've asked the Big Question. Why?

"Because what this weekend's retreatants are going to learn (if they haven't already by things being suddenly switched around to keep everyone off balance and psychologically disoriented), whether they're members of St. Patrick's, Queen of Peace, or St. Matthew's parishes, is that anything even remotely approaching Christianity is going to suddenly disappear.

"To be replaced by Satan's Protocol.

"Sound wild?

"Hey, home, it is wild!

"Before those guys are even more than dimly aware that some strange stuff is going on all around them, stuff that demands their participation, too, weird things start to happen.

"Emotional, touchy-feeley, keep your eyes fuc*in closed, recruit!, type of stuff.

"Just keep your fuc*in mouth shut, and go along to get along, cool? so-called Spiritual Exercises, however defined!

"Raw sorcery, Candomblé, Afro-Latino Cult Practices, call it what you will. Because from this point on, retreatant, pay attention you all! There's a New Clown Taking Over This Here Town!

"In fact, starting as soon as that famous New Mexican desert sun has set, Father Rick Mattey's Mens ACTS Retreat's hos are going to take control!

"And when the down-low male hos are in control, only Satan dictates how things rock!"